I just reconnected with an old friend, and he sent me a link to this video.
"Sometimes we have to get lost to find ourselves"
Which triggered me to write this reply. I don't really like placing my emails up here, but then I guess this is different. Like I (will) say - it IS telling.
Walk. That's a good thing. It's a good 'telling' word.
I actually looked up the word on the dictionary, because that's what I do and look what I found :
1 [ intrans. ] move at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once
2 informal abandon or suddenly withdraw from a job, commitment, or situation
3 an act of traveling or an excursion on foot
4 an unhurried rate of movement on foot
It is telling.
I feel like it's even telling of the sequence of life that I've been through since our last 'conversation'.
1) I was in a job - something stable, more predictable - safe.
And then it got dangerous and awry - wrong choices made. A lot of darkness, and you know of that season.
2) Which led to the necessary sudden closing of that chapter. Walking away from that life - job, house, everything.
3) Where through different circumstances, God seemed to have orchestrated a 'Lifeline'. I got to join the ship. Travelling around Europe on sea, and a lot on foot when we were at different towns.
4 ) And right now - coming back here. The same person, but oh-so-different. Trying to piece things together again. One piece at the time. One step of faith at a time.
But I feel much more refreshed now. I had a job and all this time last year, but I still felt aimless. I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, my soul being sucked away. haha.
Right now, I don't have a job - I don't know yet what I'm going to be doing. And yet there's the reassuring feeling that it's going to be alright, everything will be fine. It almost feels that I have more aim and purpose now than I used to, in the job. And it's not even that I didn't like the job, or the industry. I did - but there was always this gnawing feeling that there's gotta be more, much more.
So I'm glad I took that leap of faith.
It's been amazing, this journey.
I guess you could say I went for a Walkabout. And found out a little bit more about myself, but more than that - I rediscovered the Father God. Oh how he loves. And he CAN be trusted. Hey on that, listen to this song, it's nice : http://www.youtube.com/watch?
I am back after 6 months away and I find myself wincing at all the 'stuff' I had. Things. MORE things. Things I thought I needed. Things that I am now trying to give away systematically to those who perhaps need it more. I am trying to live on less, I realise I need much less now - but I'm happy-ier. Much happier. :)
We shall see what the next step is. But I'm excited. I'm anticipating more adventure. haha.
I seem to be pouring out my night thoughts to you. I haven't blogged or written anything in a while, so. ( but I shall begin again soon - that's the plan )
And I have started 'the plan' by placing this here. This space is going to go through major revamp, hopefully in the next couple weeks.
Thank you again, for journeying with me. I cannot begin to tell you again how much family and friends support has been such a big part of this walk - and how much it will continue to be.
God gave me destinations, opportunities and chances - you gave me the wings to fly.
*muchos gracias *