On Walking

I just reconnected with an old friend, and he sent me a link to this video.
"Sometimes we have to get lost to find ourselves"
Walkabout.

Which triggered me to write this reply. I don't really like placing my emails up here, but then I guess this is different. Like I (will) say - it IS telling.

-@-

Walk. That's a good thing. It's a good 'telling' word.
I actually looked up the word on the dictionary, because that's what I do and look what I found :

walk |wôk|
verb

1 [ intrans. ] move at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once
2 informal abandon or suddenly withdraw from a job, commitment, or situation
3 an act of traveling or an excursion on foot
4 an unhurried rate of movement on foot

It is telling.

I feel like it's even telling of the sequence of life that I've been through since our last 'conversation'.

1) I was in a job - something stable, more predictable - safe.
And then it got dangerous and awry - wrong choices made. A lot of darkness, and you know of that season.

2) Which led to the necessary sudden closing of that chapter. Walking away from that life - job, house, everything.

3) Where through different circumstances, God seemed to have orchestrated a 'Lifeline'. I got to join the ship. Travelling around Europe on sea, and a lot on foot when we were at different towns.

4 ) And right now - coming back here. The same person, but oh-so-different. Trying to piece things together again. One piece at the time. One step of faith at a time.


But I feel much more refreshed now. I had a job and all this time last year, but I still felt aimless. I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, my soul being sucked away. haha.

Right now, I don't have a job - I don't know yet what I'm going to be doing. And yet there's the reassuring feeling that it's going to be alright, everything will be fine. It almost feels that I have more aim and purpose now than I used to, in the job. And it's not even that I didn't like the job, or the industry. I did - but there was always this gnawing feeling that there's gotta be more, much more.

So I'm glad I took that leap of faith.
It's been amazing, this journey.
I guess you could say I went for a Walkabout. And found out a little bit more about myself, but more than that - I rediscovered the Father God. Oh how he loves. And he CAN be trusted. Hey on that, listen to this song, it's nice : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhU36AFcgtE

I am back after 6 months away and I find myself wincing at all the 'stuff' I had. Things. MORE things. Things I thought I needed. Things that I am now trying to give away systematically to those who perhaps need it more. I am trying to live on less, I realise I need much less now - but I'm happy-ier. Much happier. :)

We shall see what the next step is. But I'm excited. I'm anticipating more adventure. haha.
I seem to be pouring out my night thoughts to you. I haven't blogged or written anything in a while, so. ( but I shall begin again soon - that's the plan )

-@-

And I have started 'the plan' by placing this here. This space is going to go through major revamp, hopefully in the next couple weeks.

Thank you again, for journeying with me. I cannot begin to tell you again how much family and friends support has been such a big part of this walk - and how much it will continue to be.
God gave me destinations, opportunities and chances - you gave me the wings to fly.

*muchos gracias *

P for Patience

A computer that's running on not-enough-RAM.
Teenagers who think they-ah-so-cool ( and are whiney ).
Cleaning up huge kitchen tools (with a lot of small crevices ) that were never made to be cleaned up after.

They all have the same name.
She's called Patience.
And she gets on me nerves.

But I guess that's why she hovers over.
And that's also why if when you win her over, it's a half of godliness.
"Kesabaran itu separuh iman"

And Patience, together with Persistance, make a perfect pair.

A pair that I'm always doing the slow-dance with. No, this won't be your regular Swing dance partner.

But with the help of Persistance, i will Prevail.
And then maybe I can have a little bit more of that "God" stuff.

I've named many different things patience before.
My first desktop PC at the job I used to work in.
Some people I used to work with.
And as of this morning, Nilfisk the ship galley's Cheese&Ham slicer has now been christened the new Patience.

woohoo.
"Gimme a P!"

We live on borrowed time

A real audio song on a blog!

I don't think I've ever done this. 

but .. 

Markus. 

(1985 - 4th February 2009 ) 

A voice and 'song' we will no longer hear. 

A man of passion and vision. 

Too suddenly taken away. 

A great loss. 

How unreal. 

I always thought "There'd be time, there'd be time. I'd see him again."

So many conversations that were postponed to a more "convenient time" 

But now, time is no more.

:( 

Frail.

Death always puts life into perspective. 

Are you ready?

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. 

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. 

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

-Elie Wiesel- 

In his life and now through his death, ( death! it's hard just stringing that sentence.. ) Markus certainly lived. May his heart and passions and the many causes he strongly believed in live on through the hearts of the many he's touched during his brief stay here. 

We will miss having you on this plane, Markus Ng. 

Sometimes you have to be broken

to know what it means to be full

Sometimes you gotta fall

to know what it means to stand up tall

So when you're ever there

when life seems unfair

when you've hit the floor

Remember, the only way to go is up

So grit your teeth

clench your fists

one thing for sure

You're gonna come out stronger

Fix your eyes on the hill

for wisdom, strength and will

- Strife, Markus Ng ( March 2005 )