* hope *

Gravity and fluff

2009-09-03T16:30:00.003+02:00

As much as I love to travel, feel the wind on my back, walk with a spring in each step, live with little - i hate it.

Let me explain.

I hate the fact that all my good books are in boxes and all my good clothes are in bags.
I feel like I don't really see them anymore and what good is a good book in box in a corner in a room, where no one can read it?

I hate not being able to find my stuff at speed, or sometimes even forgetting i own something just because they're all compartmentalized, packed up in nice little boxes and bags.

So yes, ms michelle ding sue yean, you're in quite a predicament.

You like to have a 'settled down' space, where you know where things are.
And yet, the other part of you wants to be carried with the wind, in the wind - to wherever that leads, you don't really care.

And both are two parts of the same body, two hands - pulling and tugging at each end.

God, how do I do this?

On perception.

2009-08-26T08:34:00.002+02:00

In the spirit of blogging emails, here's another one :

A:

i have a good question for you to ponder on.

do you think we are responsible on how other people perceives us..? or are those who are forming an opinion on us also equally responsible on how they perceive us?

mich :

"We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are." - Anais Nin.

I think both sides are responsible. But there's a third side - what OTHER people say as well - the media, or other friends' thoughts - we change our perceptions based on these things that are inputted into us as well.

You said it yourself - No two people perceive the same way towards the same person. This is true. Everyone takes in data and process it differently than the other.

But still - I think, the way we perceive things or people is perhaps more largely to do with who we are, rather than who they are.

-m-

On Walking

2009-08-22T19:51:00.005+02:00

I just reconnected with an old friend, and he sent me a link to this video.
"Sometimes we have to get lost to find ourselves"
Walkabout.

Which triggered me to write this reply. I don't really like placing my emails up here, but then I guess this is different. Like I (will) say - it IS telling.

-@-

Walk. That's a good thing. It's a good 'telling' word.
I actually looked up the word on the dictionary, because that's what I do and look what I found :

walk |wôk|
verb

1 [ intrans. ] move at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once
2 informal abandon or suddenly withdraw from a job, commitment, or situation
3 an act of traveling or an excursion on foot
4 an unhurried rate of movement on foot

It is telling.

I feel like it's even telling of the sequence of life that I've been through since our last 'conversation'.

1) I was in a job - something stable, more predictable - safe.
And then it got dangerous and awry - wrong choices made. A lot of darkness, and you know of that season.

2) Which led to the necessary sudden closing of that chapter. Walking away from that life - job, house, everything.

3) Where through different circumstances, God seemed to have orchestrated a 'Lifeline'. I got to join the ship. Travelling around Europe on sea, and a lot on foot when we were at different towns.

4 ) And right now - coming back here. The same person, but oh-so-different. Trying to piece things together again. One piece at the time. One step of faith at a time.

But I feel much more refreshed now. I had a job and all this time last year, but I still felt aimless. I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing, my soul being sucked away. haha.

Right now, I don't have a job - I don't know yet what I'm going to be doing. And yet there's the reassuring feeling that it's going to be alright, everything will be fine. It almost feels that I have more aim and purpose now than I used to, in the job. And it's not even that I didn't like the job, or the industry. I did - but there was always this gnawing feeling that there's gotta be more, much more.

So I'm glad I took that leap of faith.
It's been amazing, this journey.
I guess you could say I went for a Walkabout. And found out a little bit more about myself, but more than that - I rediscovered the Father God. Oh how he loves. And he CAN be trusted. Hey on that, listen to this song, it's nice : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhU36AFcgtE

I am back after 6 months away and I find myself wincing at all the 'stuff' I had. Things. MORE things. Things I thought I needed. Things that I am now trying to give away systematically to those who perhaps need it more. I am trying to live on less, I realise I need much less now - but I'm happy-ier. Much happier. :)

We shall see what the next step is. But I'm excited. I'm anticipating more adventure. haha.
I seem to be pouring out my night thoughts to you. I haven't blogged or written anything in a while, so. ( but I shall begin again soon - that's the plan )

-@-

And I have started 'the plan' by placing this here. This space is going to go through major revamp, hopefully in the next couple weeks.

Thank you again, for journeying with me. I cannot begin to tell you again how much family and friends support has been such a big part of this walk - and how much it will continue to be.
God gave me destinations, opportunities and chances - you gave me the wings to fly.

*muchos gracias *

Inertia

2009-08-17T18:08:00.002+02:00

i've been missing winter lately. Strange.
hmm.

And this picture above - looks too surreal.
I can't believe I was there. That was January in Koge, Denmark.

My next most immediate project is to set up a site for the entire Logos Hope adventure, with more pictures and descriptions. Hopefully with Wordpress! I'm going to spend some time tinkering with that web publishing tool - along with a lot of other stuff I'd been hoping to tinker with, and hopefully - squeeze some French into that as well.

Let's hope I start going at speed soon enough. Right now I feel slothful, and I want to be in action but it's just -- i don't know.. slothful. I just need to get into groove again. Inertia. I SO need to pick up speed.

Walk the Earth

2009-07-22T04:16:00.003+02:00

This is it - my dream 'job'.

Someone once asked me - if I didn't have to earn money to keep a living - if I could just do whatever I wanted to do in life, what will I do?

I said, after some thought - that I would "Walk the Earth". - take in every sight and sound and smell, unhurriedly. And maybe write about it.

Kinda like what these guys are doing.

It would be so so so so cool. :)

One Week

2009-07-09T20:01:00.007+02:00

So it's been one week since I got back to the Motherland.

My body has been reacting, ( well, staging protests, more like ) to the change in temperature and yada-yada.

We caught the flu bug.

which really is, somewhat expected, considering the 15 (or so ) degrees change in temperature in justabout 20 hours.
And the funky timezone thing.

but getting the flu right now is just NOT cool.
especially not when everyone's so touchy about it.
See flu these days is not just flu, it's extremely important to know WHAT sort of flu.
ESPECIALLY when you : (1) Ada simptom Flu (2) Baru balik dari UK.

So I've been stuck at home. Self-quarantine. Civic responsibility. ( having the flu, feeling blue..) - Really, it's true - the whole-flu-bug-stuck-at-home-ness does a lot to make things less -- colourful, more ---dreary )

Having to wait for the bloodtest results :

( and missing the Mac )

But yayy, I'm okay. :)
It's just (a) flu, not the celebrity sort.
And I already feeel much better. Life can go on again. :)
I'm just glad I'm not growing a beard. ( hey when your body decides to throw tantrums, who can tell? )

Meanwhile, swine flew.

:-)

Plugging back in..

2009-07-06T15:12:00.002+02:00

is hard.

especially when you're having breakfast when you're supposed to be going to bed, and going to bed when it's dinner time.

not to mention you keep waking up at odd hours cos your body can't well understand what timezone you're in, it just feels iffy.

ah, plus the sudden rise in temperature, yo.

And then you miss the people and life you've been so used to.

And you think about all the things you had wanted to do but then you didn't cos time went by too quickly in the last lap.

And then you want to write a proper update and summary, and tie things up together - but the thunderstorm just had to fry your Macbook - and so you're limbless. Or at least you feel that way.

And then everyone's asking you what's next when in truth, you really don't know.

You feel like you want to be in movement, but you wonder where?

Re-entry.

Ecclesiastes 9

2009-07-04T09:12:00.000+02:00

1So I reflected on all this and concluded that the righteous and the wise and what they do are in God’s hands, but no man knows whether love or hate awaits him. 2All share a common destiny—the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad,a the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices and those who do not.

As it is with the good man,
so with the sinner;
as it is with those who take oaths,
so with those who are afraid to take them.

3This is the evil in everything that happens under the sun: The same destiny overtakes all. The hearts of men, moreover, are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live, and afterward they join the dead. 4Anyone who is among the living has hopeb—even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!

5For the living know that they will die,
but the dead know nothing;
they have no further reward,
and even the memory of them is forgotten.
6Their love, their hate
and their jealousy have long since vanished;
never again will they have a part
in anything that happens under the sun.
7Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do. 8Always be clothed in white, and always anoint your head with oil. 9Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun. 10Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the grave,c where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom.

11I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

On Time.

2009-07-01T00:12:00.006+02:00

sharon lime says: (6:50:04 PM)which part of the sea is u at

sharon lime says: (6:50:07 PM)and what does the clock show

Michelle says: (6:50:50 PM)i am at copenhagen

Michelle says: (6:50:53 PM)i am OFF sea

Michelle says: (6:51:19 PM)it be showing 1250 on the wall but 1150 on my watch but 1850 on my computer

sharon lime says: (6:51:32 PM)so what be it mean

sharon lime says: (6:51:36 PM)what time is it actually haha

Michelle says: (6:51:38 PM)it be mean - time is relative

Michelle says: (6:51:41 PM)it is the wall that is right

sharon lime says: (6:51:47 PM)1251

Michelle says: (6:51:49 PM)the watch is my yesterday self

Michelle says: (6:51:53 PM)the comptuer is my malaysia self

sharon lime says: (6:52:00 PM)so exciting right

sharon lime says: (6:53:17 PM)what is a yesterday self

Michelle says: (6:53:27 PM)a yesterday self is my self yesterday

Michelle says: (6:53:30 PM)in another country

Michelle says: (6:53:37 PM)"the past is a foreign country"

Michelle says: (6:53:42 PM)but really, i was in another country

Michelle says: (6:54:08 PM)you keep travelling through time and space and then the sun goes up and down at weird hours and then you're chatting with people from all over with different times

Michelle says: (6:54:15 PM)time just becomes something bouncy.

i like. :) i thought this was a neat conversation.

Share-On don't keeeel me! :)

p/s : let it be known that it's not that our english is retarded or anything but we is speeking the BFG-ish. From the Roald Dahl book. We learnt it growing up. That's why we turned up quirky. ( well sharon's more quirky :p but we is liking quirky very much! )

* awe *

2009-06-11T01:28:00.004+02:00

So I guess I also owe this blog a picture.

And what better picture than Daisies! :)

I've always snitched pictures of these online - but now I get to take some of my own.

And that makes me happy.

And feeling blessed.

And daisies are such happy flowers.

And they're also so random.

And sometimes I really think you don't get what you ask for, you get better.

How can I stand here and not be moved by You?

Hope Floats on the English Channel, Michelle thinks while waiting for Pie to Bake

2009-06-11T01:00:00.003+02:00

So this will be my last sailing journey.

And I have finally finally gotten sea legs!

I don't feel the ship moving.

Granted, the English Channel is probably a lot smoother than the other seas we've been through.

Still.

I threw up on the voyage from Dublin - Cardiff. My first time. ( and that right after I tried taking the pill for the first time. )

"Boss, I just vomited for the very first time on a voyage."

"CONGRATULATIONS!" *hugg*

haha.

But then it seems I have 'gained' tolerance because of that inside-out incident.

I'm totally a-okay on this journey.

I can even read, write, type and not feel anything - which is a lot.

So yayy :)

This'll certainly come in handy.

Maybe I can try reading in a moving vehicle next. That I could not do that has always irritated me; all that 'travelling time' reading potential.. ( i travel quite a bit, so - that's a huge chunk of time there.. ;) )

Anyhoo, in other news, our ship caught fire yesterday.

To be exact, toilet paper caught fire. Rolls and rolls of toilet paper.

It was a smoky affair, and could've been very very dangerous. We were all quarantined to a deck for almost 3 hours or so?

One of the biggest fears for ship is fire. So, it was quite a biggie.

But,

I was cool as a cucumber the entire way.

I don't know what to feel about that.

I find my lack of fearful response sometimes disturbing.

But at the same time - I guess it also springs from the fact that I think I do not fear death.

No, not anymore.

Like, before the whole perforated appendicitis thing - I wasn't ready. Nosiree, definitely not.

Maybe then I feared it a lot more.

But thereafter I've been living everyday with the thought that it could very well be my last.

I wake up everymorning with my first thoughts being :" Good morning Lord, I'm alive! Thank you."

And everyday you have - another shot, another chance - what a gift! :)

And everyday you wake up still - it means you still have something you need to do. Your life still has some sort of purpose that needs to be unfolded. I believe that.

These days I try not to have very many things 'hanging'.

Especially not at this point of life. I mean, I don't even know what'll be when I get back home.

6 months at a time. One day at a time.

One day at a time is all it takes.

And really, if you think about it - that's all we have for sure.

Today.

Chee Yong this is for you

2009-06-09T05:17:00.001+02:00

Sweeede

2009-06-08T00:17:00.002+02:00

SO it's Sweden's National Day today.

And the Swedes are celebrating it. ( but they say that they've never really been conquered, so they don't really need to celebrate independence, but the national day is just a day to remember all things Swedish ) .

And so you do stuff like stuff miniature Swedish flags in your hair.

Or walk around with a blue and yellow IKEA bag full of meatballs and other IKEA stuff.

I like the Swedes. They're nice. :)

This is a Rastafarian Swede ( heh ):

Nooks around Cardiff Bay

2009-06-05T22:03:00.003+02:00

This on a wall near home. ( uh, I mean, ship. ) :p

I just thought it was a good picture.

Speaking of which, this one's picture-worthy too.

This is the water we are on.

I thought this was a funny sign. Especially the 2nd, 3rd and 4th line.

Okay. :)

Hopetimist

2009-06-04T02:20:00.003+02:00

Okay.

So I've been getting a lot of little notes saying I don't do enough updating.

Guilty as charged. *weak smile*

And I do feel it tugging at me, everyday.

But the internet has been a pain the last few ports.

Thankfully, that has improved since Cardiff.

A whole lot of things have actually - even the weather.

The saving sun.

The sunshine is lifting everybody's spirits to record high.

I'm going out for lunch and dinner on the grass almost everyday -- and it only becomes dark at about 10 at night so that is VERY cool. :)

Just to get me in the updating mode again, I have decided to a set of "A Picture A Day" for the next 10days.

Here goes today's picture of the day :

But of course it had to be something to do with HOPE.

... and my on-going fascination with cool tee-shirt statements, not forgetting my innate ability to walk up to almost-strangers with the daunting statement question : "Cool tshirt, can I, uh, take a picture of it?" ( insert wide eyed innocent no-i-am-not-a-serial-killer-freak-person smile ) "Uh, not you -- just the tshirt." "You sure?" "Yes thank you very much" Snap snap. :)

I was at ART vs MUSIC - a fundraising event in town where artschool students auctioned their work to raise funds for a ministry called REVIVE. It was good, I had much fun - but more importantly I was inspired to do something similiar back home. Reminds me of a conversation I once had with Kester. Maybe it's time we dig up some of our old wild ideas and bring them to reality. Could be should be fun. :)

And if anything else -- there's always a Hopetimist hanging out inside of me waiting to come out. Always.

And I'm glad. :)

To be WOWed a million times over

2009-06-02T01:35:00.007+02:00

So I got a FEDEX package this week.

It took them awhile, because they didn't quite comprehend a ship address.

Ahnywayyyy...

Took me a lot of walking about to find payphones and emailing and waiting at the window for almost an hour for the great white van with white and blue fonts on it to arrive just 5mins before the ETD.

But - it was sooooooooooooooo worth it.

OMG you guys!

Opening up that stack of postcards, seeing all your messages, putting everything together was -- more than overwhelming. WOW.

I could've cried, I probably did.

Not to mention being flocked by random shipcompany passerbys while I was piecing the thing together.

"You have such good friends!"

"You mean this was self designed? ( eyes wide open ). Wow"

"Your friends are so creative"

Yes yes yes. :) I was the happiest most touched most overwhelmed person on board that hour - no doubts about that.

So thank you. Dankiwell. Spesiba. Takk Sumiket. Takk Firyol. Danke schon.

I miss you guys. No, actually - I prefer the French term : "Tu me manques". -> You are missing to me. I don't just miss you, but you are missing to me.

Yep.

I am touched. It was one of those moments where you for a splinter of a second feel : "I must've done something right.".

Thanks for giving me that.

i am SO beaming. :)

you guys deserve a kiss

NICE to "see" you too, all of you. :)

Picture Perfect

2009-05-05T12:03:00.005+02:00

In a rare moment of good internet.
Here : pictures from Faroe Islands.

Just the ones I have on the intranet.

View Album

Get your own

I'll write more about the pictures and Faroe Islands and it's people soon.
I gotta run now.

cheers.

Box-Me-Up

2009-05-04T02:09:00.004+02:00

so Svenja, my ship sister came up to me at the lunch line and said, "I went to a church this morning that really fits you. I think you'll like it very much."

" Ah, why? "

It's the most charismatic church I've ever been to."

:) heh.

wow. I guess I'm more 'charismatic' than I thought.

On the contrary, in the church I went to this morning - I sang a lot of old hymns I've never sung before. Almost everyone wore a coat, and some wore hats. Most had white hair - but they were such darling people! Firm handshakes, warm smiles, and the ladies really just smother you with hugs and kisses. "Go to India, child. You must go to India" - said the lady who'd spent 37 years of her life there as a missionary.

I grew up in a charismatic assemblies of God church and in some ( a lot ) of ways, I will always remain one. But I've also learnt so much from the times I've spent in that close-knit Lutheran community in Bangsar. And my months ( years ? ) of searching during the uni-days saw me visiting every denomination - leading me to the conclusion - that we all have different ways of doing things anyway, and it's all about the love, y'know. Everything else is just an expression of that love. And that always reminds me of something Bono said : "To be one, to be united is a great thing. But to respect the right to be different is even greater."

Being here in Ireland, seeing how the roads and people and walls and buildings and churches segregate and divide themselves - makes his songs and words mean so much more now. 'It's all in the past now. It's all in the past.'. Yes it is - but that past is still too recent for comfort, and you could still almost feel ( or at least see ) its lingering shadow.

Religion. Beliefs. Faith. Hope.

All used interchangeably sometimes. But they definitely do not mean the same.

I do not like religion.

Shamrock

2009-05-03T00:20:00.004+02:00

Tomorrow morning, Sunday - Mountpottinger church.
I'm going with one of my favourite Russians - Alexey Osintev. :)

We're doing a short intro session about ship, ministry - and maybe a testimony.

Had dinner tonight in the house of an ex-Douloid ( 1982-1984 ). It was good. Breakfast for dinner's always good. :) And then of course we had to talk about tea, and coffee ( and kopi luwak ), which very quickly turned into a full-blowned discussion about weird foodtypes from around the world.

Ah food - the conversation starter, ender - and sometimes ( most times ) it just takes over.
But all in good fun.

I realise that I've been a very adventurous 'eater'.
But then again I'm Chinese.

brr.
I just added dried Whale meat and Whale 'blubber' + rotten raw sheep meat into the list of 'exotic' foods I've tried. ( Faroe Islands )
Ah, and the raw herring in the Netherlands.
I didn't try the Haggis tho. ( Scotland )

I have so much to tell but I don't know where to start.
"Ireland" is an interesting place and I have a feeling I've only seen one part of it. I'll have to go to the Republic of Ireland before I get a full grasp of the Irish, and the things that unite/divide them.

For starters, I just found out that there's Irish English and then there's Irish - like a real Gaelic language. And who St Patrick really was, and what is the significance of the 3 ( clover?) shamrock leaf.

Time! Time's winged chariots are catching up, running after me.

Sedated

2009-04-29T10:56:00.002+02:00

it's strange that..

all my life i've ALWAYS wanted to come to Ireland.
Like, it's been my number 1 must-go-in-life destination.

And yet, when I'm finally almost there, ( just drifting off Belfast's shore actually ) - i don't feel quite too excited.

I don't know if it's just the aching sore throat I have, or that I'm experiencing some minor symptoms of burn-out ( noooooo..!) or that the Faroe Islands was just tooo way-up-there.

hmm. We're entering into Belfast soon.
Ireland.
Hard to believe.
I'm here.

Let this be a place of exciting new discoveries.

I will take time to update this blog. There IS so much to tell. So many stories of God's hand at work. So many stories of amazing amazingness.

Discipline, mich. Discipline.

Everything

2009-04-27T01:59:00.005+02:00

even a million pictures will not be able to captivate the moments, places and faces we've experienced here in the faroe islands.

what a place!
moments like these you never forget.
moments of bliss
moments where you just stand in awe.
moments of unexpected kindness

i will never forget this place
and maybe someday i'll come back.

Takk firror, Abba.
How can I stand here, and not be moved by you?

I just added some pictures, all real.

Now you'll know why I keep saying surreal.
how do you think it felt standing there, in the midst of such beauty, and trying to take a meagre picture? heheh.

Some of my most blissful moments were in the Faroes, I'm sure of that.

ELIM

2009-04-26T17:31:00.001+02:00

it's our very LAST day in this magical place - Faroe Islands.
my heart will be so sad to leave.
it's beautiful -- too beautiful.

I lead another church team to a church called Elim tonight. Brethren ( Free ). It's in the next island.
Service is in 1.5hours time.
Pray that God's message be sent through the team. There are 4 of us.

Takk firror ( that's thank you very much in Faroese )

We sail off at 0030 hours tonight.
Next port Belfast.

I will update this page in the next 2days hopefully. And newsletters. I owe all of you that.

pray. watch. expect. experience.

cheers.

Hebron

2009-04-22T11:16:00.006+02:00

I lead a team to a local community of Christians here; Hebron.
Meeting is tonight.
We'd be talking about ourselves ( and the countries we each represent ) , the ship's ministry and mission needs in the world at large.
To challenge them.

I just found out Hebron means 'alliance' / friend. They need to be friends in ministry. :)
Please uphold in prayer. Thank you.

Meanwhile - this island is just out-of-this-world, really. I didn't think places like this still existed/ever did. heh. It's the closest thing to Utopia that I've seen in any side of the world I've been to. What a privilledge to be here!

I guess there is a time and season to everything - even in ministry. My difficult country days have and will come. But at the mo' - this place is good soul refreshment :)

Faoroes Fairies

2009-04-17T11:13:00.001+02:00

We're here!

The Faroe Islands.
We can see it, but we can't park in it yet.

It's beeeeautiful.

No highrise buildings, no trees.

Lotsa sheep.

48000 people, 90000 sheep.

Internet not-so-friendly.

Lotsa Edinburgh stories, but.

( and pictures! )

When we get better connection.

Meanwhile. We're in the Faroe Islands, we're in the Faroe Islands! :)

Aberdeen

2009-04-12T17:35:00.002+02:00

I'm in Aberdeen, 3 hours up north from Edinburgh for the weekend.
Church Team. We're at King's Community Church.
Kid's Church, Malayalum Service and Evening Service.

The evening session's theme is 'Hands'.
I'm giving the challenge.
Please pray.

Thank you.

Owh, Happy Easter everyone.
Spring is here. Daffodils are blooming and flourishing everywhere.
Spring. Easter. New Hope. How apt.

:)

Palm Sunday

2009-04-06T02:06:00.003+02:00

HOLY WEEK,

palm sunday.

Palm Cross from St Giles Cathedral.

" He rode in with a donkey, not a horse. Peace, not strife."

the Mouthpiece

2009-04-04T22:19:00.006+02:00

I will be sharing a testimony + encouragement at a Scottish church for Sunday service tomorrow morning.

Please pray for divine inspiration and rhema word.

Thank you.

A welcome of kilts and bagpipes

2009-04-02T20:06:00.003+02:00

Scotland!

FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!

We're here, and we're going for a Prayer Hike on the Hills.

Oh joy!

Tying the Knot

2009-03-21T05:25:00.004+01:00

And what after all is marriage?
It is saying, "I will do this. I will press on. Not only when it is picture perfect, but especially when it is not.
For better or for worse, in sickness and in health,
I will hold your hand. I will be there."

“I will do this.
Because I love you. “

Hand in hand and heart to heart
Growing up and growing old together.
It doesn't matter if we don't know everything,
We can learn it together. It doesn’t matter if we don’t get it right the first time
We can always try again, together.

For always.

Game Over?
No, this is just the beginning.

A new life, together.

Two hearts that will now beat as one.
Two songs that were meant to be sung together.
Two frayed ropes, knotted in God’s love and grace.
One beautiful masterpiece in the making.

Congratulations Mr & Mrs Tan Chee Kah.

Love and Best Wishes from across the oceans. :)

Hide and seek Sunshine

2009-03-12T17:25:00.003+01:00

When I said it was sunny yesterday, I really meant sunny.

This is what it looked like today -- and apparently, what we need to expect as norm.

Foggy weather makes you less bouncy and schlowww.

Yesterday was a good day.
I miss the sunshine.

Netherland's Subang Jaya

2009-03-11T13:30:00.012+01:00

Out at sea

Sunny blue skies, after so long.. Beeeautiful! :)

Ship!

The Netherlands is a very flat sort of country. That riggady line at the front is the town we're going into.

Manoeuvering at the berth. VERY tight spot. Just fitting for the ship, end to end. We had to do side-ways parking.

As customary, crew members come out with their flags and cheer and shout and wave to anyone at the port. Usually we have a good nice welcome of people who know about the ship. Today, it was just people who were puzzled about this big ship suddenly parked in their landscape. And that just adds to our excitement, really.

And we're here!

SCHEVENINGEN! :)

p/s : I had to post these pictures out because they were just too beautiful. Yayy for good weather, yayy for Lumix. We hardly ever get weather like this, or pictures like this. I think this will be a good port. I can feel it.

The World Missions Advocate

2009-03-05T23:08:00.001+01:00

There he was, supposedly 70 years of age.

In his trademark world-map jacket, and 'gopher' on tow - this time a tall-ish guy. Hand.

He walked in with a breeze.

Even in that simple act - of walking - you could feel his energy.

And throughout the prayer night, this dynamite of a person put the rest of us 'much-younger' people to shame with his zest, energy and passion.

While 18 and 19 year olds were struggling to stay awake, this man was almost jumping around with his 'inflatable globe' telling us about the troubles in Pakistan, in Mumbai, in Darfur - everywhere.

Asking us to pray along. To pray to pray to pray.

He was a man of passion. And he was sure of his mission. His words were urgent, and if you're on a mission to share hope with ALL the world, I guess you'd better be.

But he also had compassion. And a good sense of humour.

And while half the ship's company didn't even know about the movie Slumdog Millionaire, he was glad it highlighted somewhat the life of the Dalit people in India - where his heart really is. An answered prayer.

This guy was as passionate as he was present. As hopeful as he was compassionate.

And he made special mention about IFES, an organization that has very deeply shaped my faith in Christ as well, through my involvement during my uni years.

This was a fine example of how every person in this ship, in this organization should be like.

And it better be, since he founded this organization 48 years ago, currently with 5400 people working over 110 countries.

Today I am inspired.

Today I met George Verwer.

Here's the story, morning glory

2009-03-04T22:45:00.010+01:00

You guys are smart.

Or experienced.

Or both.

SO they really ARE celery stalks.

But here's the story.

So I work in the galley now. The galley is the ship's kitchen.

It's big. We have 3 walk in fridges and we prepare something like 1500 meals a day, everyday.

We arrived in Holland on a Wednesday morning, and people were bringing in tulips ( like, you cannot get more Holland than that ) and I was thinking that it'll be really nice to get flowers, like real life tulips. ( before this I've only ever seen plastic ones - when I actually DID see real ones it took me quite a while (and a lot of touching & sniffing ) to realise that they were actually real and not plastic. *pffbt* )

So I remember saying, when we 'landed' on Holland land keyside : "God, I'd like some flowers please, thankyouverymuch."

The next day I was working in the galley, yes? And my job for the afternoon was to cut lots and lots of celery.

Like two pans of this. (600cc each )

A lot.

But then as I was cutting I slowly realised that the remaining-to-be-thrown-away stalks looked like roses. It was amazing!

It was much more amazing when I realised after awhile that I have 'received' my bouquet of flowers, one day after I had 'asked' for it - No, not in a typical way, not quite what I had hoped for - this was better, waaaaaay better. :)

Gawkingly beautiful, no? I had to stand there for a very long time. In awe. At this.

Interestingly, the Head Chef decided to cook the celery stalks differently this time by way of 'baking'.

Not a good idea.

They didn't turn out, I think they had to be thrown away.

It was a sad waste, and all that work!.

But then - heh, maybe this time it was just for that bouquet. :)

owh, and it was hard for me to cut some bits of the celery.

These bits :

If you have an imagination akin to those who spend a lot of 'quality' time with veggies and fruits, you would realise that these particular stalks look very much like the wooden figurines with a head and hands praising.

I was supposed to cut exactly at the 'neck' area, thus beheading this 'worshipping stalks'. It was hard.

Okay, here's the local Celery Church Choir :

I beheaded them soon after.

Ah, cruelty. I know.

what was I to do?

The green thing behind them? Chopping board.

So what have we learnt today?

1) God's a real Gentleman and He gives amazing gifts.

2) Celery is not only good for you, it's beautiful too ( took me awhile to appreciate this green thing though)

3) Michelle spends a loooot of time in the kitchen, but she'll soon master the art of kitchzadry. :)

Trivia

2009-02-28T23:39:00.002+01:00

What is this?
Anyone?

6am coffee and cups and dishwashing liquid

2009-02-27T01:22:00.007+01:00

My least favourite chore in all of chores is probably washing dishes.

When I was younger I used to be exempted because of a hand skin condition.
Happy was I since I never really liked doing it anyway.

It's interesting then that when I joined the ship, I was assigned to the Galley, and more specifically, the Pantry.

What happens in the Pantry?
We wash cups dishes etc all day long EVERYDAY.

We're talking about 1200 each per day. And they never stop, cos they're like cups and plates - people need to keep using them. I think in my time there I've washed like millions.

And so you wake up 6am in the morning to this :

In case you're wondering - no, it's not easy to wake up to do this.

And yes, the hours are long. Or it feels long.

8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Two shifts. 6am - 2pm / 1pm - 8pm

It takes a lot to run a ship.
And to feed the ship community - takes a lot too.

So our time IS pretty packed. We work full time on real jobs that keep the ship + ministry running, and then we also have all the extra activities like church and prayer meetings and devotion and street evangelism and youth conferences and visits to drug rehabs and shelters for homeless people and etc.

We have a designated 5 work day, 1 ministry day and 1 Off day. But most workdays, we have night time activities as well.

Which probably explains why I had been in Koge for more than a month, but have only really gone off ship less than 10 times?

But it's fine - it's been such a humbling,learning experience. And I've learnt how much I am not a fan of routine jobs. ( but more of that in another post ) . And if my two weeks as a DEEP volunteer on the Doulos has taught me how to make a toilet spick and span, the time here will definitely teach me about the washing of dishes, and the cutting of vegetables.

Yes, after about a month of washing plates, I got to move on to cutting vegetables ( and cheese and meat )

But again, more on that, in the next post!
( it's really late at night and i maybe shouldn't be doing this )

Just thought it would be good to let you in on my 'day job' here. :)

cheers.

Note : The 'Galley' is what you call a ship's kitchen.

More pomp.. On this day in history..

2009-02-20T22:41:00.002+01:00

PRESS RELEASE, 19 February 2009

LOGOS HOPE LAUNCHES INTO MINISTRY SERVICE!
OM Ships International’s largest vessel sets sail from Denmark. Ports in Northern Europe are first on the schedule.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

MOSBACH, GERMANY – Logos Hope, OM’s newest vessel, launched into ministry service, departing from Køge, Denmark on Thursday, 19 February, following a massive project of conversion and outfitting. The ship’s first port of call will be Gothenburg, Sweden, then ports in the Netherlands, UK, Faroe Islands and Ireland.

International Co-ordinator for OM, Peter Maiden said: “As Logos Hope sails from Køge a great day has arrived in the history of OM Ships and, I believe, in the history of OM. It is both encouraging and challenging to think of the huge number of people who will meet with God on this vessel or through teams sent from this vessel in the years to come.”

The Faroe Islands-registered Logos Hope will ‘bring knowledge, help and hope’ to people in port cities all over the world. The ship carries vital literature resources, aid supplies and an all-volunteer crew and staff.

“This is a huge milestone and represents a great step forward in the fulfilment of our vision to impact the life of every visitor. Now it is up to us to fill what God and His people have entrusted to us with life and creative opportunities! The launch of Logos Hope moves us a step closer to ‘touching everyone in a million’. We are grateful for the prayers and practical participation of God's people worldwide!” said OM Ships International CEO Bernd Guelker.

The huge project to renovate and outfit the ship has included replacing and upgrading fire, safety, electrical, and ventilation systems, renewing accommodation and other community spaces, and installing a whole new deck for the ‘visitor experience’, including the world’s largest floating book fair. In recent months, enormous effort has gone into fulfilling all the requirements to obtain the vital Passenger Ship Safety Certificate, and ensuring that all the safety procedures and vessel documentation are in order.

Following initial rebuilding work in a Croatian shipyard, almost all the work has been completed by professional volunteers and other willing workers. Individuals, churches, trusts and other community groups have so far donated over €26,000,000 (£23,350,000 or $33,500,000 with current exchange rates) to make the ship ready for service. A final boost in donations is now needed to help complete remaining projects and cover ongoing operating costs. Work still to be done includes further outfitting in the visitor experience and the 450-seat Hope Theatre. This will be ongoing over the first months of ministry service.

“Momentum is building as Logos Hope sails,” said Logos Hope Director, Mike Hey. “We still have some more work to do to complete the project but we are thankful for the opportunities in the coming ports to welcome people into the unique Logos Hope experience and see the potential of this vessel develop. We start with lots of excitement and growing energy but with much need to see more people join the team.”

The schedule includes a short visit to Gothenburg, Sweden, followed by two ports in the Netherlands. The ship will visit ports in the UK, the Faroe Islands and Ireland, before setting sail for the West Indies, where Logos II—the ship Logos Hope replaces—was well known and much loved as ‘the book ship’. Logos Hope crew and staff are thrilled to be able to embark on this first ministry voyage and put the ship’s public ministry facilities into service. A number of events have already taken place on board as facilities have become available for use.

“We recognise that we would not be where we are today without the great efforts of skilled people—often accomplished ‘behind the scenes’ and with much sweat, pain and difficulty. We are grateful for their perseverance, patience and prayer in the face of many challenges. Their work has been a tremendous expression of personal faith and courage. Looking to the future, the investment made will result in millions of people experiencing the grace and love of God,” said Logos Hope Project Director Lloyd Nicholas, Australia.

Resources on board the much smaller Logos II were regularly overstretched in hosting the many thousands of people who visited each day. Once all facilities on board Logos Hope are completed, and as additional crew and staff join, Logos Hope will offer significantly larger capacity to serve port communities around the world.

The project to replace Logos II began in September 2001. It gathered momentum with the purchase of Logos Hope in 2004.
Now, after years of complex planning and hard work, the ship has reached the point of launch into operational ministry. Up to 400 volunteer crew and staff can live and work on board and many more people are still needed. There are also Short-Term Exposure Programme places available.

For the first time in the history of OM’s ship ministry, a significant number of cabins are set aside for teams from churches and other groups to join the ship and serve alongside the crew for one or more weeks. This is a unique short-term mission service opportunity, and one OM Ships International is looking forward to developing in the coming months.

Contributions towards Logos Hope can be made through OM offices around the world or online at: www.omships.org/donate.

Swinging Sweden

2009-02-20T14:19:00.001+01:00

We sailed and we've reached.
We even have our Maiden Voyage video up already, here :

http://www.omships.org/share/index.php?id=2009-02-Maiden_voyage

SWEDEN, ho! :)
We're so excited for a change of scenery everyone's jittery and running about and it's crazy.

This is where we're at : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothenburg

:) :) :)

It's all icy and cold and the prolific blue and yellow IKEA flag thing is everywhere.
:)

Be the wind in these sails..

2009-02-19T12:03:00.002+01:00

ETD
We sail 3pm Danish time.
10pm Malaysian time.

ETA
900hours/1000hours Swedish time

Logos Hope Voyage Dashboard
http://www.omships.org/dashboard/

LOGOS HOPE IS SAILING!

2009-02-18T16:05:00.006+01:00

Hello  everyone,

Greetings from the  ILM (OM Internatinional Leaders Meeting) in Brazil. Here at the meetings we are  following the developments surrounding the launch of Logos Hope closely.   We rejoice with the announcement that preparations are going ahead for the ship  to leave tomorrow. 

I want to ask you,  as a fellow OM'er, that as/when the ship sets sail ...to use every opportunity  to start calling your donors, you church, former workers, etc., to tell them  "Logos Hope is sailing!"  What a moment to rejoice and thank the Lord. If  you are not in a position to call, send all your key contacts and supporters an  email notifying them of the launch and ...  THANKING also them for their  prayers, support, help if appropriate!!

Please direct them to the  www.omships.org site for a live  tracker and a link to the 4 webcams that are active on  board.

The communications  team has prepared a press release which will be mailed out as soon as the ships  sails. You can also send that as an attachment.

Your brother in  Christ,

Hans van Baaren

So this is the link to check our sailing schedule : Click!

it's funny how yesterday, this was how it looked like :

and this morning :

Gothenburg was gone! We really didn't expect to go at 10am this morning.

but now, see for yourself. :) heh.

Expect the unexpected.
Excitement is in the air around the ship. Everyone's all nerves and laughter and hugs and anticipation.
( of course there are the usual "Thomas"s who need to see us leave dock before they will believe - and sometimes we need those sort ) , but I'm happy and excited and this will be a first time sailing and going into Sweden and God has answered 3 of my heartfelt prayers in 3 days and I'm glad that He's so big but still cares about the littlest of things.

It's a faith journey.

And God never fails. He is good all the time, even in times we don't yet understand.

It's like

2009-02-18T11:49:00.003+01:00

Being an expectant family, waiting for a baby to be born.

Every beep every sound, we're not sure.
We keep getting false alarms, and good news when the sun's shining, not-so-good news when it's not.

But today, just 10mins ago - a miraculous breakthrough has happened.
Until this morning we didn't expect to sail tmr, as planned. A lot of things still needed to be done. Papers!~
But it has just been announced that through some divine intervention, what would've normally taken 2weeks or more to settle, has been settled, and ready for collection this afternoon.

And if all goes well, we'll sail tmr!

Tomorrow! into Sweden!

Oh joy. I'm excited i'm excited i'm excited.

P for Patience

2009-02-17T16:03:00.004+01:00

A computer that's running on not-enough-RAM.
Teenagers who think they-ah-so-cool ( and are whiney ).
Cleaning up huge kitchen tools (with a lot of small crevices ) that were never made to be cleaned up after.

They all have the same name.
She's called Patience.
And she gets on me nerves.

But I guess that's why she hovers over.
And that's also why if when you win her over, it's a half of godliness.
"Kesabaran itu separuh iman"

And Patience, together with Persistance, make a perfect pair.

A pair that I'm always doing the slow-dance with. No, this won't be your regular Swing dance partner.

But with the help of Persistance, i will Prevail.
And then maybe I can have a little bit more of that "God" stuff.

I've named many different things patience before.
My first desktop PC at the job I used to work in.
Some people I used to work with.
And as of this morning, Nilfisk the ship galley's Cheese&Ham slicer has now been christened the new Patience.

woohoo.
"Gimme a P!"

Snow

2009-02-16T19:30:00.004+01:00

Snow.

We keep singing the song that says, "Washed as white as snow"
Funny.

I've always sang this song with conviction, but I've never really seen snow.

But today.
The snow fell like a blanket over everything.
And it kept falling.
Fast and slow, each dancing to its own rhythm.
It was beautiful, and hypnotic - and with Michael Buble crooning in the background, it felt like Christmas all over again. ( the TV sort, heh )

Apparently there is no single snowflake that looks like the other. That's flabbergasting news, if you know how snow falls - like rain, but it's ice. and it's soft.

And it's white. White! So white.
In fact, I won't stop at saying snow is white in colour.
I'd go as far as to say that White is the colour of snow.

"...though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." - (Isaiah 1:18)

"For we've been redeemed and we are washed as white as snow. "

Amen.

The Space in Between

2009-02-16T12:27:00.013+01:00

סלה
Selah

Selah notes a break in the song and as such is similar in purpose to Amen in that it stresses the importance of the preceding passage.

Also : "to hang", "to reflect", "to meditate", "to rest", "to connect"

To be still.

Today as company of the Logos Hope, we take a Selah - to connect - to move from one season to another.
From Project Mode -> Ministry Mode.

Poiema

2009-02-15T21:05:00.008+01:00

When Christoph Römhild, a Lutheran pastor in Hamburg, Germany, sent Carnegie Mellon Ph.D. student Chris Harrison a list of 63,779 cross-references between the Bible’s 1,189 chapters, the two became enthralled with elegantly showing the interconnected nature of Scripture.

The bar graph that runs along the bottom represents all of the chapters in the Bible. Books alternate in color between white and light gray. The length of each bar denotes the number of verses in the chapter. Each of the 63,779 cross references found in the Bible is depicted by a single arc - the color corresponds to the distance between the two chapters, creating a rainbow-like effect.

Take note that the strand coming down right in the middle is the longest chapter in the Bible - Psalm 119 - which extols the riches of the Word of God, heh.

The rainbow is also the "sign of the Covenant"

Graphic by Chris Harrison, Carnegie Mellon University.

PSSC

2009-02-12T20:59:00.003+01:00

We got it! :)

Thank YOU, thank you.

Now let the voyage begin. :) weeehoo!

ETD Koege : 19th Feb.

With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm

2009-02-10T22:57:00.005+01:00

it's probably a good time to give an update about the 'situation'.
We're still fixing up the bits and pieces, ticking off the list that will enable us to get the PSSC.
( it's the word that is SO on our minds that it literally roles off people's tongues ) Like, if you want to say "PST", it comes out "PSSC", and so on and so forth.

I hope we get it soon. And then we can finally move on!
For me it's been just a little over a month to wait, for some people, it's been 8months? And for others - this journey started 5 years ago.
So it HAS been a long wait, and the launching of Logos Hope into ministry would be much anticipated.

The good news is, this Saturday has ALREADY been 'ear-marked' as our PSSC Celebration. The announcement was, "We might not be able to sail immediately after the PSSC, but we will celebrate our PSSC." The PSSC would open doors to all the other documents necessary for sail, and optimistically, we'd sail as early as Thursday ( yes, next Thursday! ). It has been a long journey. Trying, needless to say. On many counts. Thank God for perseverence.

This weekend is expected to be our last weekend here in Koge, and we are already changing our schedules to prepare for ministry!
Notices like : "Make sure your cabin is ready to sail. Everything that needs to be bolted down should be, we don't want stuff falling all over your cabins and breaking. Pillows may be fine, but your mother's vase from home will not." "Make sure all vaccinations are present.", "You would be given seasick tablets when the time comes.", etc are being made so I guess the moment really IS coming.

I'm glad. It's about time. And I can see the community's hearts and minds being more focused on prayer and on God's purposes. There have been little ripples of prayer and worship and reverence here and there - and I really think - it's about time.
We are probably not totally ready for what is ahead, but at least we got our focuses right, and that is most important.

So yea, I will let you know when we sail. When it's finally confirmed.
And when that time comes then internet access may be not-so-present, and things like that.
I'm still reachable at Michelle.Ding@gbaships.org at all times though.
Our first journey will be a short one ( about a day ) and it should be to Sweden.

So yea, to HOPE.
We're all hoping very much now.

God, be our Peace-maker, but also be our Pace-maker.

Mailing Information

2009-02-10T16:05:00.003+01:00

This came in the internal mail :

NOTICE

With immediate effect, please do NOT send any more mail to our address here in Denmark. Anything arriving here after we leave may end up getting lost, or be returned to sender. Could you please therefore let all your supporters, friends and family members know, that as of today they must please NOT send anything else to this address, but start addressing your mail and packages as follows:

(Your Name)

MV LOGOS HOPE

Alte Neckarelzer Str 2

74821 Mosbach

GERMANY

- NB: they must CLEARLY INDICATE the name of the SHIP, otherwise your mail/packages could end up on the Doulos! :-(

Reason is : We're sailing soon! I'll update more on that soon.

Commercial Break

2009-02-09T16:24:00.002+01:00

Where will you be this Valentine's Day?

If you're in the Klang Valley, go here! I would've.. :)

Dear members and friends of Bangsar Lutheran Church (BLC),

The BLC Learning Committee will be introducing a new class for those whom are interested.

It is called "Life Shapes: Living as Jesus Lived", based on a book with the same name authored by Mike Breen and Walt Kallestad, this interactive study course seeks to help us live lives of faith that can be more purposeful.

The details are as follows:

Format: Two 3-hour sessions spread over 2 Saturday mornings
Venue: BLC
Dates: 14th and 21st Feb 2009
Day: Saturday morning
Time: 9am - 12.30pm (Half hour break in between)
Facilitator: John Cheah (and guest appearance by Rev. Sivin Kit :-) )
Session types: Classroom presentation, interactive seminar, small group discussions
Target participants: Open to all (Natural next step for catechism class members)
Rough guide:
Session 1
- Introduction
- Shape 1: Learning from Life
- Shape 2: Rhythm of Life
- Shape 3: Balancing the Relationships of Life
- Shape 4: Defining the Priorities of Life

Session 2
- Shape 5: Knowing Your Role in Life
- Shape 6: Praying as a Way of Life
- Shape 7: Practising the Principles of a Vital Life
- Shape 8: Living a Life with a Mission
- What next?

For more details about LifeShapes, visit www.lifeshapes.com
For some insights to the shapes we will be visiting, go to www.lifeshapes.com/shapes.cfm

If you are interested, kindly email your reply to John Cheah at johncheah@gmail.com latest by the 12th Feb 09 in order to facilitate preparation of materials and refreshments.
Hope to see you there!

Note 1: Refreshments will be provided during the break
Note 2: A small handbook will be provided during the first session

Items to bring: A Bible, your own experiences and plenty of smiles.

God bless.

We live on borrowed time

2009-02-05T16:32:00.008+01:00

A real audio song on a blog!

I don't think I've ever done this.

but ..

Markus.

(1985 - 4th February 2009 )

A voice and 'song' we will no longer hear.

A man of passion and vision.

Too suddenly taken away.

A great loss.

How unreal.

I always thought "There'd be time, there'd be time. I'd see him again."

So many conversations that were postponed to a more "convenient time"

But now, time is no more.

Frail.

Death always puts life into perspective.

Are you ready?

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.

The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.

-Elie Wiesel-

In his life and now through his death, ( death! it's hard just stringing that sentence.. ) Markus certainly lived. May his heart and passions and the many causes he strongly believed in live on through the hearts of the many he's touched during his brief stay here.

We will miss having you on this plane, Markus Ng.

Sometimes you have to be broken

to know what it means to be full

Sometimes you gotta fall

to know what it means to stand up tall

So when you're ever there

when life seems unfair

when you've hit the floor

Remember, the only way to go is up

So grit your teeth

clench your fists

one thing for sure

You're gonna come out stronger

Fix your eyes on the hill

for wisdom, strength and will

- Strife, Markus Ng ( March 2005 )

Friends in the journey

2009-02-02T11:31:00.013+01:00

Sometimes we run after our dreams,
and sometimes our dreams find us.

Sometimes we stumble upon them, and they knock us off our 'chairs'.

We suddenly find an immense passion inside of us that we wonder how we'd ever live without it.

Maybe it's like falling in love.

Some people find it in politics, most in music, yet others traverse the world for the perfect shot, and for one particular person I've grown to love : it's photojournalism. :)

This post is dedicated to that person, and also to the "chasing of our passions, living our dreams."

While I was "jumping" and finding myself ( it's a very bizarre feeling) travelling across continents to a land I've only before this seen on postcards and TV, and finally made 'home' in a floating ship with 350 people from 40 different countries --

this person also had adventures of her own. Getting handpicked to attend a big photography festival, winning an award there, and finally - being featured in one of my favourite ( and i think best ) Malaysian magazines - it's been an amazing journey ( that I believe is just starting! ). We started talking because of the magazine anyway so it's been good to watch the things that have transpired over the past year & a half? Divine appointments, oh how I love them! :)

But more important for us, and many more young-ish adults like us - is the 'task' that looms ahead, the stories that need to be heard, the story that needs to be told. I believe ( with all my heart ) that our purpose in life is to be good stewards of the time, talent, treasure, and people that has been placed in our lives. If you think about it - none of those things are infinite, or constant. And it's up to you at any moment, to make the most and the best of what you have.

And this story NEEDS to be told. If only to make us look beyond ourselves, to be thankful of what we have - and to realize that there's still so much that's lacking - and so much more need in the world.

I have been to Cambodia once, back in 2005, and everytime I think about the place, I cry inside. It was my first ever trip out of Malaysia and it definitely set "things in perspective". It is a land that's still suffering heavily from its past, and you can almost feel the heaviness in the air.

At least I did.

So do get yourself a copy of the February issue of OffTheEdge. Read the article, "War,Food, Tourism" by Yong Yen Nie. At all good newsstands. Only RM6, it'll be worth every cent. I wish I could get me a copy here but everything's in a language I don't understand. @-@

I'll try attach the article here as well. Click!

Thank you, Yen Nie, you're an inspiration.

And definitely a great friend to have 'on the journey'.

Thanks for letting me be a part of it too. I'm so proud of you! :)

To chasing our passions, living our dreams.

To good stewardship.

To fellow pilgrims in this thing called life.

August Rush

2009-02-02T01:20:00.006+01:00

"music is all around, all you have to do is listen."

we just watched the movie and it's beautiful.

it's the kind of movie that lifts up your spirits, and gives hope. :)

sometimes in the mess and confusion of our existence, it's good to dream a little, to hope, and to listen to the music that is life.

i recommend it. highly. :)

What they all mean, and what it means to us

2009-01-30T16:14:00.002+01:00

Okay, now to explain.

PSSC stands for "Passenger Ship Safety Certificate"

Now in order for a ship like LogosHope, which contains lots of sailing passengers, ( ie : mua ), to sail in the great oceans, she needs a PSSC. Other ships that would need a PSSC would be Cruise ships, or certain sorts of ferries. Container ships, however, do not need a PSSC.

The Doulos has been getting its PSSC for 10s of years ( since the beginning of its ministry ) with no problem, and the Logos & Logos II before their decomissioning had it renewed year after year, but for LogosHope, it's been a long journey in attaining and preparing this ship. So much has been done, but still there's more. Thousands of items ( probably ) have been ticked off the To-Do list, but there's still the odd 100. But then this is life for us on the LogosHope, now.

We want to sail, but :

1) We need the PSSC ( and the other OTHER documents & permissions : ISPS, ISPM, Insurance for Sailing ( now we have Port Insurance only.. ) etc )

2) Are we ready? ( as in physically, mentally, emotionally and especially spiritually?)

The PSSC checks the readiness of the vessel, but God checks the contents and intent of the heart. I have been thinking that THAT is the key. All this other things should be nothing to God. As long as the heart be ready, then there will be the breakthrough, and we can finally move on to the next season of ministry.

I hope to be here when that happens. I hope we as a ship company, grow up.

Then there will be much pomp and circumstance.

Not just here on LogosHope, not just throughout OM ( Operation Mobilisation ), but I'm sure up there in the heavenlies as well.

A thought : if we were a TV drama series, it would've been exciting if we finally moved on already! Episode 235 : Life in Koge, Day#202 ) heh.

This past week the Surveyor's from Lloyd's have been walking around all day long, in their workmen suits checking and rechecking every nook and cranny, every connection, every hole. Firedoors, fire dampers, lights, water - everything. They have been very critical, and very thorough -and it think that would be necessary.

The crew are anticipating our departure from this town, finally. But we'll still have to see. Apparently when they first got here, they thought that they could sail right off, I think it's been almost a year now - and still - we are anchored at this port. A good port, and much has been done in partnership with the local churches here -- but a lot of people, joining a "ship" ministry - would undeniably, like to sail. Interestingly, a fair number don't really care anymore - and have resorted to what the Filipinos say, "Bahala, na" "Whatever will be, will be.".

And I think we have to agree. "Man can plan, but it is God who decides". "For My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than yours"

So that's what's been happening. It's an important week, this.

And we are hoping for nothing short of a miracle.

The final report that came in said that it would be "humanly impossible" to get the certification, then the other documents, and then set sail on our target date February 10th, but we ARE believing and praying for divine intervention.

And this God has been faithful. He has been Ebenezer. ( Hitherto, Thou has helped me )

He has done it so many times, He can do it again.

I guess it also makes sense.

That it has to be nothing short of a miracle to set this ship afloat and a-sailing-ho.

And nothing short of a miracle for us to have the hope that we now have in Him.

( lest we would think it is by our own strengths and capabilities .. )

Still - may His plan prevail. And may we be able trust the One who sees the bigger picture.

So yea, pray for that - pray however you will.

But as fellow supporters in this work, it is your right to know these things.

And my responsibility to make sure you are aptly updated.

Please, if anything just email me and I will gladly answer any questions you may have about the progress of this /ship/ my life on ship/ etc.

Hugs to all, and thank you for your profoundly humbling support, prayers and love.

-m -

PRAY!

2009-01-28T12:35:00.002+01:00

Okay, can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet, so this will be a blurp.

Full story later!

PSSC is this week!

What that basically means is that the Surveyors are here to check and certify if the ship is fit for sailing.

They are very thorough and critical, but that is so the vessel will be made fully ready.

What I am more concern about is the readiness of the Crew, I believe that once we are ready, we can sail. All in God's timing.

So yea, pray along. If we get our certification, target sail date is February 10th. But all depends on how the evaluation goes. So this week is critical, and we need prayer!

If we get it, Feb 10th will be the Logos Hope's maiden journey to missions since 4-5 years now. So you will be 'taking part' in something rather momentous, I'd say.

I will keep you updated, of course. And more on that - I gotta rush off to work now.

Please PRAY PRAY PRAY. Send a 'knee-mail', haha. I just learnt that from my ship brother, Sam. Knee-mail ( okay, corny Christian joke ) -- but it's true!

"The shortest distance from a problem to it's solution is the distance of our knees to the floor". A dear, dear friend once told me that, and I've always remembered ever since. Good stuff.

More later! thanks all.

Gong Xi

2009-01-26T18:24:00.009+01:00

It's interesting how you do not realise how much you'll miss something until you actually have to miss it.

It's the Lunar New Year again, and I think this will be the very first time I have not been with family. It's strange.

Of course there's the other 'extended' Asian family here, but still.

I miss family and home.

It's true.

It's also interesting how much more Asian and Chinese I feel now over here.

I was just telling someone that somehow, the non-Chinese-ness of a place can sometimes bring out the Chinese-ness in someone. It certainly made me a whole lot more Chinese. I felt more Chinese last night than I prolly ever did.

See? I even used the word Chinese more times in a paragraph than is healthy, or 'politically correct'.

Again, strange.

Anyway, what was initially planned out to be a nice quiet dinner gathering among Chinese & Koreans ( we both celebrate the exact same new year ) on board quickly turned into a great feast for the entire LogosHope ( and friends ) company.

It was fun painting the 'town' red and helping to cook up a storm for the great Lunar New Year eve Dinner we had on board. We even got everyone to dress in bright colours ( red/orange ) or "if they had their chinese suits ( cheongsam et al ) they should wear them to dinner".

And a great big feast it was! We had Korean "Bulgogi"( sliced beef ) and "Dung Pa Yuk" ( sweet pork ) with rice (courtesy of Korean "Chef" Paul Kim) mixed vegetables Chinese Style, and for a small table, some 'home-made' CharSiew ( courtesy of Malaysian "chef" Yen Yen ) . We even had mandarin oranges aplenty with red table clothes, and chinese new year songs for ambience-- - it certainly felt like the CNYs we all had back in Msia/ Singapore/ HK/ Canada/ Taiwan/ Australia.

It was a good learning experience for the non-Chinese parts of the ship, and for the yellow-skinned people - it was a time of bonding, working together, and taking pride & finding identity in our culture and heritage.

Pictures! :

Red Lanterns Canggih, no? heh.

Entrance to the Logos Hope Dining Hall, Chinese-ized ( or defaced? heh )

It almost looks as though you can order Chinese take-aways from here.

AdHoc Deco Team : Taiwanese, Korean, Malaysian, Singaporean, Canadian, Australian

AngPow! MikeHey ( Logos Hope Director ) giving Malaysians Ang Pow

( courtesy of OM Malaysia, thank you very much! :) )

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

This is a politically correct sign. :)

Happy New Year all!

Be The Change

2009-01-24T23:34:00.002+01:00

MySpace Celebrity and Katalyst present The Presidential Pledge

"I pledge to be the change that we seek."

Whatever one can say about whether or not Obama was the right choice, if he can influence all these pledges, if he can get so many Americans ( and the world ) united to do greater things and to change things TOGETHER - then that is enough.

Reminds me of this one guy who said the famous words : "Be the change you want to see in the world".

He later led India to freedom through steadfastness and non-violence. Gandhi.

Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, ... extraordinary 'one' man(s) that inspired change and altered our histories.

Could Obama be next?

Certainly not the Messiah but maybe he could bring necessary change.

And he has so much charisma for change, so much hope in his speeches -it's hard not to get inspired, be moved to 'action'.

It's funny though, how a lot of Americans I meet on board don't really care. They didn't even vote because "ahh, my one vote won't mean anything!" . Which reminds me of Malaysians - so I guess it's a world epidemic not just confined to the Motherland. And there we were, some of us, Malaysians, so into-it, keeping up to date with the vote tallies, speeches and stuff.

Hmm.

In that same line of thought, I know of one other person who changed the face of history and eternity forever, who made a way - to bridge the gap - the perfect sacrifice - so that we can have a chance. So that we didn't have to depend on our own religiosity to save us all - because we cannot. We cannot save ourselves.

Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.

How much more allegiance then, should we give?

And what then, will our pledges be?

And not because we have to, but because we are humbled/inspired/driven to?

Watch the video, if nothing else, it's fun *ahem* inspiring.

Thanks CL. :)

Welcome Birkedal!

2009-01-23T22:52:00.009+01:00

Passion Groups are kinda like "co-curricular" activities. ( I mentioned them a little before here. )

Except that these co-curricular activities you do because you like to / want to, rather than being forced to.

These will then be used to facilitate "telling stories", and build friendships - especially in places where language may be a barrier.

And I guess it makes sense. We all have giftings and talents - and there are so many ways you can tell the same story, or help tell it. It makes sense to use and grow our talents and giftings draw people to the story of Hope.

This here is one of the Passion groups I popped by a couple of Wednesdays ago, and I think I'll join during my short stint here.

The Art Group! :)

Oh Lookie, something's going on here :

Everyone hard at work and not realising the lense pointing at them.

Can you tell what it is yet?

Okay NOW we've realised the lense.

And the funny faces naturally follow..

Smile everyone :) Do you see it yet?

Yes, it's a Crocodile.

And it's a crocodile simply because 'Birkedal' sounds like Crocodile.

( Although.. this is a Danish place-name, and Koge is pronounced Kooehh, so maybe it doesn't sound so Crocodile after all... )

PST stands for PreShipTraining. And every group of people that come into the ship for the 2 years global action programme have to go through a PST, and each batch is referred to by their PST ( ie : PST Birkedal, PST Koge, PST Kiel, PST Cuxhaven ) and etc.

We're making this banner to welcome them, and they're arriving --- TOMORROW!

2 days on board before they get shipped off to BirkedalCrocodile for their training.

And - there're 2 Malaysian ladies that are coming. :)

I think there's a total of 43 new crew coming in. 2 year commitment.

I think they need prayer. :) heh.

The pretty looking coin

2009-01-23T21:41:00.004+01:00

Yes this is me and this my neck, and I am quite obviously Danish-ized.

So I keep saying that this is my emergency coin, kinda like how in Tunas Puteri ( Girl Guides in Primary School ) you have to have 10cents in your flower badge for emergency phonecalls. Yes, we really DID do that. And I remember if they checked and we didn't have 10cents we would have to go through some kinda punishment - no kidding!

But that was in the age where cellphones didn't exist and Public Pay Phones were still a necessity rather than 'monuments' of a time passed.. whoah, this brings back memories of the brown skirt and brown tie. Ah, so long ago. 15 years now? woot.

Ahnywayy,

This is just to show you what a Kronor would look like.

And this 2 Danish Kronors ( also equivalent to RM1.40 ) will get you absolutely :..

nothing here.

Really.

Okay here's to give you a 'picture'.

7 kronors = 1 Euro = +/- RM5

A normal cup of coffee ( black, no cappuccino frappucino luxury ) here would be : 10 kr ( RM7 )

A pizza would cost about 60 kr ( RM42 )

A busride would cost a minimum of 12.5kr ( RM8.90 )

A Danish Hotdog ( the cheapest Danish 'street food' you'd find here ) is 22kr ( RM15.70 )

owh, and you know the McDonald's McVALUE meal? That'll set you back by 60kr ( a whopping RM42.85 )

okay, I know Coke's probably the best international comparison unit.. - I still don't know how much that costs here - I'll find out! :)

YES, Denmark is a very VERY expensive place to live and be in.

More expensive than Germany UK or a whole lot of other places, so it's quite unrealistic for a Malaysian ( on mission ) to really buy anything here. Nor do I really need to actually, I think.

But there's a reason for the whole high cost of living thing - Danish citizens are taxed about 60%. Pretty crazy but that ensures that minimum wage is high and it keeps people out of the streets. The public policy here is great - exemplary even. Free education, free medical care, free a-lot-of-things. In fact, I think you get PAID to study. Which reminds me of Dennis, a Danish guy I met while working at BT. He got something like RM4k a month for studying at LKW in Cyber. Nice, no?

About time, some pictures!

2009-01-23T21:03:00.003+01:00

These were taken on my 2nd day here, but heh, I'm only uploading it now. Time!
Who's in it? the STEPper group for this time around.
Where? The small 'beach' area beside the ship dock. We also went into town but my camera went out of batt, so..

I think the pictures are nice - but it's only cos the air is nice and the colours are beautiful and the Panasonic Lumix is an amazing camera. :)

Age

2009-01-15T19:03:00.002+01:00

So Liz said today : "Somethings only experience and age can teach you."

And it's true. I guess I always knew that.

Like when I started my job 2 years ago, I had all the head knowledge and all the eagerness, but I was dearth of any experience, and I was still - young. (er )

The two years gave me experience aplenty, and I certainly got older. ( wiser? I don't know ) - but oh yea, there were the too-hard to handle moments, there were the great surreal ones, the pretty ones, and the boring ones where you're just waiting for time to pass so you get older ( and more experienced ) and also the emo ones where you feel like time is going to fast and you're not doing enough. ( ahhh, the pains and thrills of the 20something year old )

Over at the ship we get to hang around with a whole big bunch of 'young(er)' people. The amount of 17-20 year olds here are so many, it's not funny. Most come straight out of highschool, from countries where a gap year or two is the fashionable thing to do. Only the Asians have to rough it out at uni ( + work ) before finally jumping, or so I've observed.

So yea, it's been a huge test of patience. I think when someone asked me yesterday what were my challenges, a main part of them, at this point - is dealing with the younger ones. I know, I know I was once there, and was probably a lot more uninitiated. Still. Sometimes you think : "Why on earth would they ever think that?" or "Why would she ever say such a thing?" or ..

heh. And then you realize that they're still 'earlier-on' in their journey, and there's still much for them to see and learn, and they should be given the chance to grow according to their time.

Still.

It is frustrating.

And I think it's part of 'growing-up', for me.

For now, tonight if I hear another whiney teenager who thinks they-ah-so-cool I might just start throwing sock-balls at them.

Quick Tour - Logos Hope

2009-01-14T11:09:00.002+01:00

Ah I found something!

A 'quick' tour of my current 'home'

This was taken in December 2007, but most of the people in the video are still on board.

What's changed since then is that the Book Fair has books now and is complete, and the 2 tonnes of cabbage has been long gone. :)

I work in the galley. ( there's a small snippet in this video ), and Andy's the Executive Chef, he looks like he could do wrestling but he's a great chef, great guy and has a super sense of humour.

Oh joy!

2009-01-14T01:20:00.008+01:00

SWING!
I can't believe we never did this growing up!
I had my first 'class' today, and this I tell you, Swing is so definitely the new 'Schwang!" =)

Look at how much fun these guys are having:

And these people, are just crazy :

You can take lessons here :

and no it's not just for the old. With stunts like that ( see Video#1, #2 and #3), only strong energetic young people can do it mon..

And swing-or-not, this advertisement is just too-cute :

Ship people need something to do for fun, to work-out - for community building. There're other stuff like HipHop, Gumboot dancing, Origami, Clowning, Fire-spinning, Sign Language - whatever you want. They're called Passion Groups. And if they get enough passionate team members, they get to do performances during events - to welcome visitors, which the ship has lots of.

SCHHWINGG~!

Koge

2009-01-12T23:24:00.014+01:00

The town of Koge ( pronouced Koeergh? - or something like that, it's a silent 'og' ) is a small quiet port town. People mind their own business and walk around hurriedly, and they also mostly all wear black. I think it's just the cold, maybe. Temperatures dance about in the range of 0 to -10 degrees here this time of the year. The wind chills are colder, and not ideal for standing around for chatting and such.

There's the main market square, where all the shops are, where all the activity happens, and where all the people converge.

The roads are mainly stone, and the buildings look like they've been there for centuries. There are timber houses that are at least 500 years old, and there're many small walkway passages that lead you into house courtyards.

Everything else around the main city square is quiet, and not very many people drive. Walking and cycling seems to be the main mode around here. The town's got a population of about 34000, and apparently, at some point in history 'witches' got burned at the stake right in this town's market square.

Everything here is expensive, but that's not cos it's Koge, but because this is Denmark, and if the Brits and the Americans also say that it's expensive, you can bet the Malaysian currency just won't 'deal' here.

p/s : "Wanna go shopping, stroller a hassle? Why just leave the baby outside for air and sunshine!"
In this picture, the stroller REALLY had a life baby inside, and no parents and no one around. I found my Malaysian self very conscious and shocked about that - but maybe it's really THAT safe around here.

I haven't had to spend anything yet, tho - We have ample of everything on ship. And those that I didn't have, and have desired - have miraculously appeared to me in many different ways. Now I have good winter boots, hot chocolate, and good moisture lotion - stuff I wanted/needed/hoped for that I now have. It's cool. Really. :)

Prayer points :

The town of Koge has taken awhile to be really warm and accepting of the ship and her ministry. Most Danish Christians go to the local state church, the Folkekirken , and are traditional and conservative. Most of them practice religion by name, as part of culture. Few really know God, other than the fact that they have to be at church to do official stuff. It's honourable to be a church leader, and helps in the political game. Some church leaders are not even believers themselves, it's all academic, and very procedural.

So yea, pray that this Logos Hope ship ( and it's company ) would be like warmth in this cold land, both in temperature and heart. But more importantly that the people be 'awakened' to a real and personal relationship with God.

I got some pictures from the ship - and YES, the place is picture perfect. It's so easy taking amazing pictures here, the colours are beautiful!

Logos Hope - Full Speed Ahead

2009-01-09T10:37:00.000+01:00

Seasons of Love

2009-01-08T22:46:00.002+01:00

Just because this song is so energetic. :)

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Moments so dear
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure - Measure A Year?

In Daylights
In Sunsets
In Midnights
In Cups Of Coffee
In Inches
In Miles
In Laughter
In Strife
In Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You MeasureA Year In The Life?

How About Love?
How About Love?
How About Love?
Measure In Love Seasons of Love.
Seasons of Love.

Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Journeys To Plan
Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes
How Do You Measure The Life Of A Woman Or A Man

In Truths That She Learned Or In Times That He Cried
In Bridges He Burned Or The Way That She Died

It's Time Now
To Sing Out
Though The Story Never Ends
Let's Celebrate Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends

Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Remember the Love
Measure In Love

Oh you got to you got to remember the love,
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love, spread love
Measure, measure your life in love.
Seasons of Love
Seasons of Love(measure your life, measure your life in love )

5731miles to HOPE

2009-01-06T20:55:00.015+01:00

and when I got to Copenhagen, this was the face that greeted me :)

and this was the face of the brother-of-the-face that greeted me :

Our wonderful left-side drive chariot :

The gangway up the ship :

The Cabin ( well, actually what was on the cabin door ) :

The bunk :

The welcoming gifts :

And 'Survival Kit' :

thoughtfully given by fellow Malaysians on board. :)

and that, was my first two hours in Denmark.

Lagging

2009-01-05T22:18:00.010+01:00

Time : aroundish 11pm

Temperature : -9 degrees

Mode : zonked.

I am so zonked.

I didn't think I would suffer from jetlag - considering my not-so-conventional type of sleeping hours ( hey, I went to MMU! ;) ) but when you start getting like reaaally sleepy at 4pm in the evening and then go to bed at 9pm, wake up at 12.30am ( thinking it's morning already ) , 3.30am ( ALSO thinking it's morning already ) and then at 6am -- your body's REALLY trying to tell you something : it's freeekin confused.

That, and the fact that it starts getting dark by 4pm around here. It is quite the morbid, the weather here. ( I also learned that there are 625 Danes who try to take their own lives in a year - that for the reportedly "Happiest Country in the world". Malaysia's rate is about 2700 a year

. But Denmark only has a population of 5.5million, Malaysia has 27million ) hmm.

I will have to write a FactSheet about Denmark. ( next post! )

We had Day 1 of Orientation Training today, which of course had to start at 7.30am. ( when it's still dark, and very very cold ) Sun rises about 8-9 around here. And you can literally see it rise over the horizon in some places here. Wait, I have a picture :

We also had our Safety Training and Tour today, which was done by two of the most comical and fun people I've met on ship so far : ( i thought the uniform/costume was cute, so.. )

Pippa (UK) & Angie (US)

owh, they also checked our laptops and set our network abilities today. What that means is that me and my Mac can now get online from anywhere in the ship. Waaay cool eh? ( only for this port )

And I gotta say this, as the IT dude was sending out the computers he was like :

To dude#1 : "Okay, we had to install AVG for you cos the ..... does not work."

To girl #1 : "We found some Spyware on your computer, and cleaned that up for you."

And then, "And who's the lucky owner of the Mac?" ( me with sheepish grin ) - "Here, and of course it doesn't have any problems." :)

It's a fine, fine computer, this.

More adventures later! So much to tell, but I am beyond zonked.

Checked in!

2009-01-04T19:58:00.001+01:00

I'm here!
Reached at 7.55am local time and -2degrees Celcius.

Woohoo.

More later, just suffice to say that "I have arrived"

oh btw it's 7 hours difference, 7 hours later than Malaysia.
So it's 7.59pm now, and very very dark.
( and cold)

Saying Goodbye..

2009-01-03T18:17:00.005+01:00

is never easy...

And although my goodbye was happy : " So okay, thanks for coming, have fun in Malaysia, nyeheheh"

I felt -- sad.

God, I'm going to miss these ppl.

Running down the escalator, and then looking back at everyone - was amazing. Mesmerizing. If I had to keep a picturebook of memories, snapshots in life that meant something - that moment right there would be one of it.

( and the entire journey from Malaysia to Suvarnabhumi I was giving myself a pretty hard time - for not taking a REAL picture )

It was a skip-a-heartbeat moment - watching almost all the special people who meant something to me - stand in a line at the departure bay, looking down - and saying bye.

For a split second there, I very quite nearly cried.

But then I had a plane to catch, and an adventure ahead.

A great big one.

Still, I wish I had one more wave, one more hug..

I guess at the end of it, more than anything, more meaningful, more needful than anything is the people that are dear to you, and people who care - friends and family.

And no matter where you are on earth, and where you go - it means nothing without the people you love.

I never thought I'd see the day I'd say this, not so soon anyway. But here I am, 2 hours away from home and all I can think of is how much I'm going to miss those ppl.

I miss home.. already!

- (Starbucks, Suvarnabhumi Airport | Flight stop-over ) -

Prologue

2009-01-01T07:57:00.002+01:00

So I'm really going to be doing this.

The past couple of weeks have been nothing short of an adventure.
A big giant leap of faith.
In more "layman" terms : Having normal 5/10years' life experiences squished into less-than-30days.

It's been a rushing whirr - but exciting, so exciting.
And as a dear friend of mine said : "I can see you glowing again. Haven't seen that in awhile"
I like that. I like the glowing me. :)

The whirr :

1) I turned 25! ( had a minimajor quarter-life crisis for a bit there )
2) I quit my job! ( still love the industry, but time-off is good, and perhaps - necessary )
3) and turned down 7 different very-interesting-i-would've-done-it-at-any-other-time job offers.
4) but got me a Mac! ( i'm a happy hunky-dory MacMich now :) )
5) and also moved out of Ara D ( okay, i REALLY got to learn to simplify. Shifting 3 car loads ( 2 Avanzas) of stuff is just no fun. Picking up after is worse.. ) - but I am SO gonna miss that place.. :~(
6) And then tried for Logos Hope. ( which is in Denmark, and I only recently found out how faraway that is )
7) Spent Christmas Eve crossing state borders, and many towns in between with a car-full of stuff ( see point number 5 ). Reached Taiping town just in time to hear the 'Olde Clocktower' strike at midnight - Christmas. :) Until that time I've never heard it strike, and neither has mum. She's lived here all her life. What I really heard : "It is time, Michelle. It's time."
8) Raised what seemed like a daunting amount of money in just 7 days. ( t'was a giant test of faith, and my God pulled through, through many people dear and close to me -- and all I can really say is that I am humbled. So, so humbled. He stopped me in my tracks - and I feel like a loofah for thinking that I was raising that money. Nosireee. All I had to do was surrender, and that was all. And that was my lesson in faith, faith in a BIG God, who's also real, who's also constant, who's also present -and who cares. )
9) And now I'm doing stuff like : packing up winter clothes for 0degrees??!, booking 17 hour flight tickets, taking vaccinations, looking for elusive medical YellowCards, buying Euros from a money changer that has 8 security cameras i-am-SO-not-kidding you.
10) And just last night I celebrated the coming of the new year with family, church and a bunch of crazy adrenalin-rushed jumping teenagers singing "I'm flying". It's a good song. A good song to welcome the new year, amidst all the 'darkness' and uncertainty that the world is feeling.

What it feels like :

You know that movie ( Indiana Jones? or was it StarWars ) where the guy does not know where he's walking to? He's just taking steps into what seems like mid-air, that he could fall at any moment - but the miracle is that as he takes each step, a 'bridge' is formed. Step-by-step. And that bridge can only be formed if he first takes the step. And he's just got to believe that as he takes the next step, the 'bridge' will not fail him.

A lot of people have come up to me to say ( okay, some are my own doubts.. ) : "Whoah you've got guts" . "You're doing this at the weirdest time, what with all the economic uncertainty". "What are you going to do after?" . "How are you going to survive?" . "Do you really have to go THAT far?" . "Are you just going ahead of yourself? " . " What are you running away from? "

But the truth is : I have to go. All things seem to point in that direction, all things were made possible, almost easy for me. I have full family support, and most importantly - I am at peace. This is the right thing for now, and it's saving grace compared to my past few months of immense stretching and testing and pain. Maybe they were necessary, I don't know. But at every point we get to choose, and I chose. Wrongly, rightly, meant-to-be? I don't know. I'm just glad that the deep overwhelming darkness that eats-you-up is over and I'm beginning to see glimmers of light all around.

This time I get to choose too.
Or maybe, in this case, this chose me.

The best thing is : the adventure's just beginning.
And I've got a Great Wise Author.

Join me on this journey of discovery.
Of myself, of purpose, of calling, and of the Big Man Above. :)

Yo ho-ho, all ship shape and Bristol fashion! ;)

To Hope!